What does it mean when you're really high and you yze everything without realization?

to the point where you cant even talk..or do anything...some people say that weed lets you choose between the conscious and the subconscious but I have no control or awareness over thoughts while high and every thought is so negative and twisted and neverending when I'm high ..it's such a bad feeling...I know i should stop smoking but I feel that those negatives are my true self..I can somewhat defeat them sober but It's like I'm programmed that way because it comes out when I'm high ..I wanna look into the rooted problems that cause this and change it..but howww